I'D FINISHED A SEMICIRCLE

I just came out from a steaming hot shower,my clean and wet body still wrapped tightly in a wool towel.I love wools.I have so much to blog ,I don't know where to start.Lets get it done one at a time.Slowly....
I just came back from a short vacation in Penang.It was so much fun.So so much.I'll probably leave vacation in Penang for the next post.Next year la...

So yeah!!!180th post and I'd finished a semi-circle.Glad I came so far.Too far,I realised.

2009 was a great year.Although 2008 was a far better year for me, but its always the harder years you'll remember most.A year that pushes me so far, and now when I looked back I actually realized that I'd done it.Besides,what's life without hardships.My father always says 'Imagine everything you planned just falling into place.Wouldn't life be perfect??' If there is one thing the year 2009 had taught me,it will surely be that life is not as easy as I'd thought. Quoting my dad 'Suffer first,enjoy later'.

Perhaps I did change.A lot.I just didn't see it.This time round,I wouldn't have so much fun anymore without feeling guilty.It's different now.

As for New Year's resolution,I have none to be honest.At times,I feel like a passenger just moving through,stopping by just to get a glimpse of what the year could offer and then start moving again to continue the journey of life.I yearn for a destination.

Dan Brown

I love Dan Brown.So, so love.You know as the saying goes:-Each and every one of us have hidden talents beneath us that sometimes we do it so regularly and we're unaware of it.So I didn't discover my hidden talent,not yet.Maybe I would never will.However,I discovered and found something that made me happy besides keeping me away from my nails biting habit.I do it regularly out of joy.

I LOVE HISTORY

So what!!!!To be honest and frank,history had never been boring with me.Friends,if you hear me saying history is boring,I was probably feigning so as not to be left out.History excites me.I can sit for hours reading everything about Queen Victoria's reign in Wikipedia.Yeah, royalty sums up with history will give me a total of excitement.Going back to Dan Brown,I love him because he makes me discover unusual,mystery stuffs.

His first book I read was "The Da Vinci Code".Fact or myth,I totally loved it.Then,I read "Angels and Demons" followed by The Lost Symbol.And I know Brown wrote five novels to be exact.Because three of his writings involved the same character,Robert Langdon,I sort have a strange connection to it.And to read two of his other books will be difficult because I love Robert Langdon.It's almost like reading Sophie Kinsellas' without Rebecca Bloomwood.That's how I feel.

I just finished perusing The Lost Symbol and I'm all about the Masons and Noetic Science.Go Google Noetic Science.It's so interesting.Do you know that human souls have mass?????

Daydreaming is one of my favourite pastimes.So I thought like maybe when I finished my studies,maybe I can work in a palace.Not the Malaysia istana, la.To be part of the England's royalty household.I wouldn't mind how much they pay.I just love the idea of working in a palace.To be honest,I don't mind being a door woman or maybe nanny.

Yesterday and Today

Seconds tick,hours pass, days gone by,friends change but nothing in me change since then.Nothing.I still love dancing to the sounds of Schubert in the dark.I still love the taste of my nails.I still cry in bed,falling asleep in the end.I still let the hot tears flow into my goggles when I swim.I still love swimming and tennis as ever.I still love playing dress up when no one's at home.

So yeah!!!My dad was like telling me that he never regretted placing me in public school 5 years ago.He never told me the reason for it.But I could guess.Perhaps in these 5 years, I'd mature more than ever.And yes!!!!!5 years was like enlightenment for me.I learnt the harsh reality of life,of not taking the easy way out and most of all standing up to what I believe most.I fought hard for what I want and not take life for granted.I understood hardships and how money plays such important roles in some people's life.

I did not change completely.I mature.I'm still the same girl inside.The same girl who would splash her money buying a new swimsuit for her friend's pool party.The girl who gossips in the loo.And most importantly the girl who stands by her best friend when she's in trouble.

What's different now and then would be:-I won't splash my money buying a new swimsuit when I already have one.

Perhaps,I did change.She's right.

What Happened???

Few months back, I was all full of ideas on how to uplift my blog, one of which was to transform it to a royalty page.That was few months ago.Today, however I feel the other way round.I feel like shutting it for good.For good.No more rants,no more pathetic sighs.Why bother managing a blog when you can't really express your true thoughts about things???My point is that not all things are worth sharing to others.

On a lighter and more ravenous note, I watched The Young Victoria for the third time.I promised if you're up for something romantic and elegant,this is it.You've gotta watch this.Its much, much like 4x much better than any pathetic romance movies.I still feel emotional despite watching it for the third time.Trust me.You'll adore it.

New doesn't always means good

I very much adore the fact that there's only 9 days left for the 'DAY'.The reason is of course not because I'm ready for it.I'm not ready and I'll never will be ready for it.Give me another month,another year and my answer will still be not ready.The fact is obvious-I'm never perfect,I'm a mediocre and I disguise it.I dislike it to the very end.

I dream so much.My blog's moniker is 'DARE TO DREAM'.I have such high hopes,such high aims which are almost impossible to accomplish.No more mansions,no more air-conditioned latrines.I want Prince Harry now.Can you believe it???How your fantasies can bring you so far sometimes???And I'm adamant that Prince Harry is not another celebrity crush.I'm already living in a virtual world.So my point is that,I have such vast,huge dreams but nil efforts.So how now????

Major exam in 8 days to be accurate and no extra efforts.

And by the way new doesn't always means good.

I hate birthdays.I never like it.I just don't like it.No,there are no specific incidents that made me hate birthdays.I just hate my birthday.Not others.

I was in a state of quandary on whether I should or should not sing tomorrow.So I've make up my mind.I will be singing tomorrow.

I just finished perusing The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown.A bit too late, huh.All this while the book had been lying untouched in my study.The reason was obvious-I thought it would turn out to be another non-fiction,science type of book.It didn't and surprisingly I like it.

Wow

Grey's Anatomy Season 6 is out.I can't wait.Will it be Izzie or O Malley???

Pangkor Version II

Now that I'm back from Golden Sand(another name for Pangkor),I really need to concentrate on shedding some serious weight.Second time round and I can tell you that the excitement and energy were still hard to bear.We chose to accommodate in the same resort,the mere fact that it's posh and they have beautiful,private beaches(ignore the total damage caused).You know when I say private beaches,it means that you don't share it with outsiders.For instance,If you happen to go to Penang,even in the most expensive hotels outsiders can just walk in and use the beach.And that explains why they have dirty beaches.In this resort however,outsiders are not allowed and you can't just walk in.You have to endure a 30-minutes ferry ride to get there and the ferry rides are exorbitant and exclusive.Outsiders wouldn't want to endure long,expensive ferry rides.That explains it.

Another obvious reason why I'd chose this resort is that you can't go anywhere.The point is that you got nowhere to go.It's an island and the only mode of transport is a ferry.You feel like you're in a foreign,new and not so 'Malaysiaish' place.You see 'mat sallehs' ' everywhere,every corner.The fact that they walk around naked bring you further away.However this is only true until you see 'nasi lemak' for breakfast.

Check out all the pictures at my Facebook.

I didn't get a chance to tell you about my previous trip right there.But taking another journey down memory lane was hard to resist, too hard that I'd almost cried on the last night of our stay.I learnt myriad things:-ride a bicycle,play ping-pong.

The date is set.Last minute preparations are immense.Everyone is elated and not to mention enthusiastic as the day approaches.If everything goes on as scheduled,I,Tan Pei Zhen and family will be making another trip down to Pangkor.

Yeah,I try to make it sound like a wedding is about to take place.Nah,anyway I'm extremely ravenous.A break,finally.I basically spent the past few days Googling Princess Diana:- everything about her from A-Z.I just adore her in every way.A princess-every one's dream to be one,huh.

I'm staying up late today to catch up MTV Video Music Awards.8tv better be right this time.Till then,I'll see all of you again on Thursday.

Dare to Believe

All my years of schooling,I always believe that just a little bit more effort, a little bit more hard work you can easily make your way to the top of your class.And 11 years of schooling also bring me to realise that working hard and putting more efforts doesn't apply to me.Not because I'm a slow learner or I'm dumb but just the fact I get enthusiastic so fast.I have such high hopes and the next minute I find myself crumbling down.I always have these visions of me doing very well in exams (which never happen).And these visions are the culprits to all my sleepless nights,my very first teenage depression and me being dubbed 'Cranko' by some of my friends.The more I bring myself to think about it,the situation becomes worst.I became more and more anxious,more excited and the outcome became unbearable.

So I'd decided to let my dreams and visions flow.I rather choose to stay moderate and modest than ruining my life.Sometimes what's not yours is not yours.I believe the day will come where I'll strive-maybe by than it'll be million times greater than this.So I'd stop trying.

Damn it!!!What took me so long to figure it out??

It's difficult to move on with life,feigning and faking when you know what's really happening.And to top up my frustration,this is the first thing that greets me when I surf the net.

They're back together.

I'm done with B.M,Sej and by tomorrow English.B.M turns out to be freaking difficult.Of course,its BM what no surprise.I guessed I screwed up paper 2-the literature part.I hate literature and to worsen things up its in BM???Sejarah didn't turn out to what I'd expected.I thought I was going to damage the entire paper 2.But not too bad, it turns out well.Enough to get what I deserve.English is basically English.But I thought I ruined my essays also.Enough said.Conclusion is that I screwed up most of my papers.

You know sometimes I wonder and ponder how some people move on with their lives so easily.How they can adapt and acclimatize to a new culture so easily??To leave a bunch of friends,move on and lead life somewhere new.Honestly if it's me,I think it'll not be easy.Very random,I know-can't help it.

The Young Victoria

So yeah!!I just finished watching The Young Victoria.Pretty good,I would say.Worth watching unless you're very much into British Royalty-which I am.

Eczema

You know what's the most difficult thing when it comes to dealing with eczema???I would say its not the skin breaking part neither the fears when bath time approaches nor the agony that one has to undergo when anything(you name it) touches your skin.It's the self-esteem,the confidence that you very much lose every time the skin breaks and your hand gets scaly,rough and blistery.And the last thing you very much hope for is that the eczema doesn't spreads on obvious areas of your body.

I've eczema ever since I was five.Five!!!When other people my age get to hold soft toys, animals and barbie dolls,I was only allowed to play with Lego sets.At first,I wasn't really bothered with scaly skin and rough,wrinkled palmbut that was only true until people around me started taking notice.All of a sudden they sparked up conversations about my scaly palm and they seem so enthusiastic like its something new to them,something rare , something bizarre.

At first,I wasn't at all affected by it, but strange as it might sound, after 12 years I started feeling vulnerable.I started loosing the boost,the confidence that I used to have.It's all gone before I come to realize.

So three days ago ,I paid a visit to a dermatologist(at last).And now I'm undergoing steroid treatment.Yeah!!My eczema was so bad to the extent that I'm using steroid now.My skin has very much improved since then.And I haven't done this for an extemely long period of time.

"I'M HAPPY"

Just a few minutes ago,I was on the phone with Divya and she conveyed to me her fear for HINI.She also told me that rumours had it that a girl from our school- afternoon session had caught the virus.Truthfully,I'm not afraid.The fact that I'm an asthma patient should make me fear more of contradicting the virus.But I'm not an inch afraid or fear for it.I don't know why.But these days I'd been thinking very positively.But positive in a weirdest way.

I attempted thrice for the past three days to come up with a happy post-something to show that I'm ravenous and elated at least.My attempts were futile, so I'm going to stop trying.I'd decided that I'm just going to rant on with my dramatic stories and maybe one fine day (hopefully) , I'll come back writing a happy post.

It gets on my nerves that the weather is so unpredictable sometimes and for that I did not get to exercise this week.My sweat is so going to taste salty.

I didn't realise I was wearing a TOPSHOP to play tennis until today.Funny me!!!

Laughing out loud

Please take note that I'm no more affiliated to the prefectorial board any more.Which means that now I'll appreciate everyone addressing me as Pei Zhen not prefect ah.



So last Thursday was the last meeting and I can't believe I'd actually showed up.Anyway last Thursday was also the day that I'd heard the most ludicrous and inefficient thing in the world.Have you by any chance come across any authority who give you a warning letter and then the next day apologize and pull back the letter??I'd come across one.There the prefectorial board.



If you're wondering,they didn't pull back my warning letter as I failed to present my witnesses before the said date.What the heck????Witnesses.Its this some kind of court proceedings or what.You can easily bribe you friend and come up with witnesses.Isn't that simple???



Yeah, and I happen to come up with another evidence.Ivy and I are very much like critics so we prefer to sit right back.Often we were blocked by a group of tall,lanky prefects.Christina Gan, a girl about my height also prefers to sit at the back.So she was one of the many people who got wrongly accused.She managed to come up with five witnesses.My question now is :

1) Ivy and me are equally short.What are our chances??

Conclusion is that the secretary of the upcoming board needs to at least has the courtesy to lift their heavy ass and scans the room twice.

What a disgrace???

Lately,I can't bring myself to write a happy entry.And it means that I'm still upset.That's why yesterday, I'd booked myself in for a facial session with ADONIS.And for the record,I'd actually stopped thinking throughout the session.It was miracle.I felt so serene,so tranquil and so pampered yesterday.I wasn't feeling upset,guilty nor angry.My emotional outrage was gone.The shoulder massage did the magic,I guess.

Moving on,I'd been doing a lot of thinking lately and I feel its time I get rid of all this superstitious and nonsensical thinking.And things that happen to me lately made me realised that sometimes it's better to not listen.It's better not to know so much because the fact hurts.Bringing yourself to face the truth will be heartbreaking.And feigning that nothing much happens will be a big lie.So why bother knowing the truth???A lesson that I'd learnt lately-start pretending.

Clumsy me.So what!!!

I fell down yesterday.Flat.Here is how it happens.There was a huge rock in front of me so I skipped in a attempt to avoid it.But my legs were too short so I tripped and fell down on my knees.The wound wasn't really bad but my father got so hypochondriac all over it.I think I fractured my toe,but still managed to pull through tennis for two days.I'm not 'lembik'.I'm clumsy.So what.My feets are uneven.So what.

Back to the warning letter story,the more I bring myself to think about it,the more I think about resigning soon.Of course, for some people who don't go for meetings often and was bestowed a warning letter,it was no shocking news.But hey, I have friends coming around asking me what happen in meeting almost every week and she didn't get a warning letter.She barely knows what happen in meetings.

Just because she hands in a letter every time she skips meetings,making her better than me.I should have known this trick.Stupid me!!I should have actually construct a pile of letters with pathetic reasons and hand it in every time I skip meeting.Hey, girl isn't that easy.How long it takes to write a letter??Besides,my father writes up to 40 letters a day.Corporate letters I mean.Letters like this wouldn't take him long.

It all comes back to the point of how inefficient the board is or like my mum said "What a waste of time??Come back and play tennis better, lah".Anyway what is over is over.I told my dad yesterday night and he actually asked why I didn't bring back the letter.He could have write a lengthy note for the Head Prefect straight away.Tomorrow I'm going to get the letter and see what I could do with it.

I'm calling Sherrie now.After all,she's the only one willing to listen to me.

Biggest Mistake

A year later,I'll look back and cherish today.Because today God had blessed me with life's greatest lesson.A lesson that I'll cherish and ponder.I cried.I cried endlessly today witnessed by spectators.My life I cry for only two solid reasons:-one if I'm really upset and two I'm really angry.I was flabbergasted today.

Believe it or not , I got a warning letter from the prefectorial board.For what cause.For not attending meetings.The best part was I didn't get an asthma attack at that time.I think it would be cool having a few people carrying me to the 'bilik sakit'.For heaven sake,if its me getting a warning letter for not attending meeting than almost 3/4 of the board would be in a state of jeopardy.My mum almost got a heart attack when I conveyed the news to her.People whom I don't see them in meetings escaped without any warning letter.

I questioned the secretary in a stern voice.And guess what.She asked me to bring back the letter and come back with my parent's signature the next day.I threw the letter right at her face and yelled saying that getting my parent's signature is equivalent to me accepting the fault.Which means no way.I created a hell of chaos in the whole area.So brilliant Miss Head Prefect got the news and started the usual routine.She went around asking people whether they've seen me in meetings.The secretary started coaxing me saying that maybe it's just a mistake.Back off.If it's a mistake rectify it and then give me the letter.

I started crying and now the idea of crying sounds ridiculous to me.When I start crying,I can't stop.Angelita and Rayel was two kind beings who actually try to cool me down.I stormed into the class and sat next to Joanna.After that,I felt so much better.

The fact that everyone tries to point out to me is that I'm going to leave the board in a week or two.Why bother to create a mess?I have principles in my life and try compromising it,I'll not leave you in peace.Even if it means resigning a day before the official date,I will.Because integrity is so much more important than a piece of decrepit certificate coming from a abysmal board led by an unqualified leader.I was brought up with principles.I don't go around agreeing with others.

Seriously speaking,if not for Ling Wei I wouldn't be bother to carry out my responsibilities.I'm not losing even an inch.Unless I get an explanation,my decision are yet to differ.

Tham was freaking funny today.She thought that I cried because of my marks.C'mon Tham.

I played good tennis today.I managed to scribble the letters 'PB' on the balls and my blows were hard enough to make Mr Choo gasps.

Crocs Rocks!!

A new addition to my Crocs collections.Behold:

By the way,my bags arrived today.Words can't describe how I'm feeling right now.

Bags

Words that best describe the past few days-HELLISH yet AWESOME.Hellish for the fact that I'd successfully screwed up all my papers again and Awesome for the mere fact that I'd slept through almost all the nights.I guess this means that I'm officially insomnia-free.I hope so.

Of late,I'd been having very bizarre dreams.Questioning dreams that aren't scary,which ends up making me chewing my last bit of nails attempting to interpret it.Also,I'd been very demanding lately.You know everyone who know me pretty well got to agree that I'm not a very obsess person.I deal with things pretty well.For instant, I really want another pair of flip-flops from Crocs however I got over it after some time.Still I want it though.Anyway I got really provoked and annoyed last weekend and I decided that burning some cash would be the best medicine to ease my mood.I indulge on a mini shopping spree and ended up getting a T-shirt from MANGO.

My cousin sister was kind enough to fly me some branded bags all the way from London.Behold:

I can't wait.

What the Heck!!!

Guess what.Maths and Science back to Bahasa kononya mother tongue.Anyhow I was not really astonished but would like to grab this opportunity to extend my outmost sympathy to the future generation.Malaysia will have their next generation going to space speaking "Apa khabar??Lu cakap apa.Yakah ,apa itu sphere." How pathetic.

150th Post & Turning 15

Hello readers',I'm officially back(i hope so).Yeah, it's been almost a solid month since I last blogged.For your record this is my 150th post and someone special is turning 15.Yeah, how things are make to coincide sometimes.

Before indulging fellow readers' to one of my lengthy,dramatic and exaggerating speech,let me update you with the little bits of my life.Exams are due next week.Which means by now,I'll be having short crook finger-bitten nails and sleep deprive. Schools as usual are always dreary.My chat box had expired a long time ago and I didn't bother to renew it.I thought of doing it later.And the AWESOME FOURSOME haven't had fun for an immense period of time.Probably it won't happen anymore.I hope not.

And now the dramatic talk begins,

You know how sometimes when you're in such a foul mood and a person comes experimenting all his wrestling skills in front of you.You know how sometimes you need to act humble when a person so much younger than you is so good at something you do.And worst of all,you know how sometimes a person gets so over-protective to even let you touch his cell phone.

But beneath all the wicked and provoking acts he commits himself to,I never live a day through without thanking God for his existence.He was the reason I pray silently every day.I love him thoroughly and words cannot express how I always wish that we'll stop growing.Because soon it'll come a time,where both of us have no choice but leave one another in order to chase our dreams.I pray and I'll continue praying for him.Because he's my one and only brother.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EONG WEI!!!LOVE YOU TO MAX.

By the way,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA LOO

Articles

I've got about 20 articles to finish before tomorrow.Which means that I have an approximate of two more hours before bedtime.I realize its not very nice sacrificing my precious sleeping time for some EST articles.If not for the teacher who always threatens us with the demerit points,I couldn't be bother to get it done.

This entry is suppose to be long.However the writer is too lethargic and the mood of blogging doesn't really kicks in today.She'll be updating her site as soon as possible.Stay tune.

Hey

School commences tomorrow.And that seriously means its consequences time.I'd been lacking far behind this year academically and socially. You know what I mean,huh.Nothing much about my two weeks holidays and therefore not very enthusiastic to share with fellow readers.I'm not stingy ok.Without me realizing two weeks came to an end just like this- whosh!!I didn't even get the chance to really relax without worrying my results that are yet to be revealed.

I failed badly and I'm not in good shape to handle any of this right now.I dread school tomorrow.I dread results and I plant a hatred towards schooling life.It's hectic.Anyway I would be totally lying if I said there was no fun in my holidays.Big fat liar!!

Yeah!!!The main one was getting the AWESOME FOURSOME back in action.We met up last Friday for steamboat in a restaurant;-obviously.This time around with the economic turmoil hitting our country-we were deeply affected too.No posh restaurant this time.Just a small,cozy Chinese restaurant with loud Chinese music blaring out from the stereo.I recalled how frustrated Ivy was to be sitting just below the stereo.We chortled loudly to almost everything, oblivious to the surrounding.The ambiance and vicinity was not very good-I agreed,however the place lit up with our laughter roaring frequently.

I was ravenous and excited and beaming happily.In simple words:

I WAS HAPPY!!!

Miracles

Do you believe in miracles at the first place??I don't if you're wondering.Miracles happen all the time,unexpectedly, out of the blue.When miracle occurs only then we'll be with by a pang of realization,guilt and often relief and grateful.But what happens when it doesn't.Miracles are never my stuff.It doesn't strikes me and often I'll just get off facing the circumstances. Nevertheless an incident that I'll relate to you in a short moment had brought me to a path of having faith in miracles and most of all God.

Last Sunday,like any other Sundays ,I struggled to get out of bed.While I was flipping around on the bed,I realized that my brother was out of the bed.So yeah.Here it goes.Yes-I still sleep with my younger brother.So what.Anyway it was something bizarre seeing him out of the bed so early on a Sunday.C'mon something's not right.And then moments later,he came back telling me that he had a slight fever.Slight fever only what.Nothing fantastic.He popped some Panadol and I thought he'll be alright soon.

Fast forward few hours later his fever gone from bad to worst.And worst means fever with very bad shivering and blue nails and palms.My parents brought him to the nearest hospital fearing something bad is going to happen.He was diagnosed with a virus infection and was put under very strong antibiotics.There it goes.The next day he gets worst,no progress.I began to worry.Symptoms worsen:-nausea,vomiting,extreme shivering and extremely high temperature.I see both my parents sponging him.And worst of all I was forbidden from entering his room as its contagious.From the crack of the door,I saw how he shivers,how his palms became bluish to purplish.I was scared at that time.

No words can describe my fears.For God's sake he was my one and only sibling I have.I can never imagine my life without him.I never dare to even imagine.I'm an asthma patient.I understand the truth behind one's suffering.On Monday night,I was at my breaking point.I can't take it anymore.I wanted to spill it all out to someone and decided to call Rhenu.I can't get through her.

And then all of a sudden,it just happens.I remembered a book, a Buddhist prayer book that I last read a fortnight ago.I recalled how noble and powerful the book was.This book contains personal and real life accounts by people who went through it.I held the book gently and with a sacred heart and mind I read it aloud trying to get the contents of the book into my mind.Though I managed to finish 20 pages of that book,it was more than enough.

The next day when I wake up,I half expected to see my brother lying on his bed.But God I can't believe my eyes.He was in front of the computer striding his thin and long fingers on the keyboard.Thank God.In that instance,I know who to believe.Behold:

THE NOBLE MAHAYANA SANGHATA SUTRA DHARMA-PARYAYA

By the way,I'm feeling very strange now.

I'll never stop trying

4 more days and that's it.That's it.There goes the mid-term that I'd completely screwed up.Not trying to feign modest here but this is serious.And I mean it.Chemistry 1 and Sejarah 1 tomorrow.Yeah,I know I should be in the study right now memorizing Pakatan Murni and Gerakan Islah...blah....blah..blah.....Anyway I'm not because if I am I would not be here striding my tabby fingers across the keyboard.

So while I was trying to reach out for some revision books,a thin envelope slipped and fell making its way through the air before landing forlornly on the ground.In the beginning I didn't bother much of its existence and I just resorted to picking it up and stacking it back to the pile of books.But something,something just made me so curious of the contents of the envelope.A red one.As long as I can recall,I don't usually keep envelopes in my room.

Very slowly I unsealed the envelope and all of a sudden I started shaking.

It's not everyday that your friends do something extraordinary for you.And it definitely takes a lot of effort and passion to do this.It's very visible that the exams had done a mess to our relationship and triggered it at an alarming rate.But foursome let me tell you what:-I'll never ever stop trying no matter how hard I'll try to preserve our relationship.Let me assure you that what we had built yesterday is so strong and rigid that nothing can take it away from us.Absolutely nothing.It's not how much time we spend together but how much we had gone through already.

You'll know what I'm talking about if you had watched 'Sisterhood of the Travelling Pant'.

I'm so prone

This week had been a very intense one.Our mid-year is stretching right up till the end of May.So I sort of like have an E-May(Exam May) this year.Speaking about exams,my sleep was not too bad.I still managed to sleep in for more than 4 hours.Consider good ok.

This exam also I seriously screwed up all the papers that I'd sat for.I screwed it till the very end.Lately I felt like I'd been very careless in my exams which I don't used to.Its alright getting a slash for questions you do not know but its an awful feeling making small mistakes and getting a mark that you don't deserved.So I sort of figured out why I'm so careless lately.I read through some articles and it was stated that a factor of carelessness is PMS.Gosh!!That would be absolutely right!!!PMS!

The one

I'm back!!Yeah!!Haven't been updating for quite some time.The reason is I reckon withdrawing myself from the blogging sphere, can actually help me deal with my emotions:-more to like acting more natural and less feigning.

Moving on.Mid-term exam in a week's time.I'm making every arduous attempt to digest as much as I can and at the same time trying to not to think about my sleep.Recently my class made a trip to Taylor's College.Being in Taylor's actually trigger me to think more about what I'll be doing later on in life.

Many a times,people just tend to make wrong moves in their life or simply made the wrong decision about their future.I wouldn't dare say I'm any better but the thing here is many people think that being a medical doctor is so great, so prestige.Yeah, indeed being a medical doctor is prestige but is social status enough to outcome passion???

The idea of becoming a medical doctor once crossed my life,but man I got over it.When reality comes knocking,I knew that I'm not good enough and will never be good.So why choose something beyond your capabilities??And then I knew that with my capabilities I need to opt for something lower.Which means that I can safely discard medicine and pharmacy out of my deck of cards.And there is where I come across my passion for food.

NUTRITION

I want to be a nutritionist and a dietitian and I'm adamant that I'll make it one day.From that day when I discovered I'd this passion towards vitamins,I've been reading a lot about nutrition since then.From latest discoveries to old facts , I digest it like I'm all ready to start college.With my stern eating habits which varies from no pork to less meat,I guess I'll make a good nutritionist.

Nah, its all just a dream.

By the way,I'm trying to lose weight in an extraordinary way.No starving,no severe exercising.Will be blogging about it soon!!!

Fast one

For now a fast and short one!!

Yeah..Haven't been updating for like ages.Anyway tomorrow's the day:-the day that I'd long anticipated,the day which will prove whether all my efforts are worthwhile,the day where my heart will start beating and pumping hard again,the day where excessive adrenaline will flow throughout my body system,the day where my knees will tremble hard enough.

I'M PLAYING MY SECOND AND LAST MSSD!!!

I'm excited.I'm ravenous.I'm enthusiastic.I'm jittery.I'm nervous.I'm confuse.I can't describe my feelings now.It'll all be clear by tomorrow.I leave it all to God.Wish me luck!!!

Alright!!

Yeah,I know.Alright.Let me explain!!I know I haven't been updating for ages.Maybe for this entry-just an excerpt on what's going on lately.Yeah!!Camp did rock!!!On another note,we're(Mgs'ians) expecting another assessment soon.And frankly speaking,I'm starting from scratch.Yeah,basically that's all I can think about for now.

Moving on,I'm currently undergoing a very crucial state of amnesia.Believe it or not, in a week I misplaced two very important things:-mobile& Tupperware.

I'm really looking forward to April.Lots of exciting and ravenous things are happening.I can't wait for tennis MSSD, Sri Lethia IU Evening and of course the test.The faster it comes,the better it is.I have so much more to say but somehow the words don't seem to be forming in my brain.Words-tied huh???Or whatever you call it.............

CAMP ROCK!!

I'm actually quite ecstatic for camp this year.Very enthusiastic and excited.To prove my enthusiasm,I'd actually prepared a list on what to bring and what not and carefully typed and printed it out earlier.My instinct says that camp this year is going to rock.How far my instinct is true,you've gotta wait for me to be back and tell you about it???

Maybe part of why I'm so ravenous about camp this year is because I get to skip school for two days.Furthermore this year I'll be going with one of my close buddies-Ivy.And also I'm not that worry about camp this year because we're staying in a dorm instead of the usual tent.The latrines should be much more cleaner and modern compared to the one last year.I just have this bizarre feeling that the camp will turn out good.

Also this year,I'm bringing a whole bottle of vitamin C and multivitamin with me to strengthen my immune system.I would never want to come back half dead again because I have something very vital going on on Sunday.So be positive.

Till then

Bye,
Zhen

Finally

No insomnia , no sleep apnea.Yeah, my sleep was not very good for the first two days but after that WOW________

Though I had managed to get enough sleep,I also managed to screw up almost all the papers.And I'm not trying to feign modest right here.Remember I hate people who feign!!!!

Tomorrow co-curricular activities will go on as usual and Rhenu and I have something really important to tell our cheerleaders.SO DUMB!!!

I am still contemplating on whether or not to go for a swim before going to school tomorrow.I am still in the process of weighing the pros and cons.
Pros:It will be so cool going to school after a swim,I haven't swim in ages
Con:I have to get up extra early

WHAT DO YOU THINK???

Bad skin

Don't be astonish if I say I've got a skin as old as a 83 year old grandma and a skin as scaly as a crocodile.It might sound farcical but a fact still remains a fact and its up to whether you want to believe it or not.Behold:

Eczema had been an obstruction to myriad things in my life.I had been living with eczema for years and I knew how it had strongly affect my life emotionally and physically.Seriously how would you feel possessing rough and blistered fingers???There is no cure for eczema which means that you'll need to bear with it for the rest of your life.

Hello.

Her exam's on Tuesday!
All the best Missy.


Mr.Anonymous.

For once

Here it goes.My monthly test is just around the corner ,so I assume you know what it means.

SLEEP APNEA,DEPRESSION & ANXIETY

No more,no more.I give my assurance.My mind is going to do the magic.Be positive.Yeah be positive.

On another note, Grey's anatomy season 5 is getting better.Who says Grey's anatomy is mundane??

Transformation

Guess what.Yesterday I was feeling very elated after hanging up with Sherrie.Today I'm feeling the opposite -upset.I don't believe people undergoing transformation in their life.I had knew Sherrie for all my life.Who knows her better if its not me???She might say the exact thing to me and I thoroughly agree with her.She definitely knows me better than any of my friends.

But you know how some people try to convince other people that they change a lot in life.And I don't give a heck on those people.Be yourself.Why must you change??Definitely changing for the better is very essential.But how long can you bear to pretend and feign yourself in front of people.How long-a year, two or a decade???How long??????

I was blessed with opportunities to see how people transform and revamp themselves in their life.Transformation factors might range from seducing guys to starting over a new leaf or just merely for fun.I don't get the point.The type of people that I'll try my best to avoid is people who fakes and people who make up stories.

Why bother feigning???Are you happy with the feigning life you're leading??Are you a person who responds to jokes you don't find humorous????Just by pretending what do you get in the long run??

Ignore it

I'm currently not in a mood of deleting posts and previous entries.When I can find any time to past then I shall amend my password and start blogging again.Ignore the previous post.

Hello Pei Zhen!
I've decided to hack your account!
Hahaha. Justkidding!
Can I blog in your blog too?

**You know who am I. So keep your mouth Shut.
**Text me if you want to confirm who am I
**This secret is between you and me.
So,
Shaddap.

Au Revoir, peepps.

*Winks*

The_Anonymous

Light and Easy

I had spend almost a decade of my life in Sri Lethia.I left the school with memories to cherish and ponder once in a while.It still brought tears to my eyes every time I thought about it.It was rather difficult saying goodbye and at the same time withdrawing your loyalty and spirit for the school to another school you'd never envision you'll fit in.Five years come and go in a blink of eyes and I vow I'd never regret for my decision five years back.

I had embark on a journey towards a new chapter of my life.A chapter that I'd no intention of neither closing nor concluding it without any exciting things happening.I'm starting to learn how to take some things more lightly or in a more easy manner.I had try not to do excessive exaggeration or posses frequent panic attacks.I'd learn not to be so cynical and be more modest in life.All these years,I'd also learn that possessions are not all that matters.

How do I ???

All of a sudden I'm just out of words.I start pressing my fingers down gently on the keyboard then tapping the Backspace button gently again.What's wrong with me??Perhaps words tied.Is there such word by the way???

Stop!!!

Hey!!!Its 2.00 a.m by the way.My fingers are still striding gracefully across the keyboard. My brother had been asleep for quite some time.I'm not really sleepy yet so I thought I'll pay a visit to my blog.School's awesome and we're still in the midst of our Chinese New Year break.

Just out of the sudden,I feel like I should stop trying so hard. One thing that distinguishes me from any other person is that I don't and will never feel discourage so easily.I work hard into chasing my dreams and pour every single effort in accomplishing them.But sometimes I get so knocked out and exhausted and feel like I should just stop trying so hard and act according to the situation.But I follow my instincts so much that I'm so persistent and stubborn to revamp what I'm doing.Of course,I absolutely love what I'm doing right now:-studies,tennis and swimming.Sometimes I feel that its artificial and I don't really have that talent.Take tennis for example-I'm very aware I don't really have this sport genes and no matter how much I try I won't go far.But I kept on trying and I feel like right now I just need to STOP!!!

As in really STOP!!!I'll reconsider about playing competitive tennis and maybe I should just stick to swimming after all.

HAPPY CHINESE 'NIU' YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

Elated

How would you feel when you have a cousin who flew back all the way from Australia just to unite with you??? It might seem like a joyous news to everyone but to me I don't feel an inch elated or enthusiastic about it.Her presence doesn't bother me a bit.My life revolves as scheduled:-I go to school,come back,take my bath and eat.On the contrary, my brother was extra jubilant when he heard she was coming down to visit.He did something like a mini countdown every night before he went to bed.Peculiar right.

During the younger days of my life,I used to be very close with her.We were almost inseparable whenever she comes and visits.I grew , she grew.People changes.That's a fact.Maybe its also partly due to the fact of our age gap.She grew and started becoming closer to my brother instead of me.

However I'm really adamant that a time will come where she'll grow and our relationship might progress into a much excellent and satisfying state.But there's one thing I get very elated every time she visits:-I get to use all her cool gadgets.

Not Really

If you were to count and total up the number of mere acquaintances I'd known, you'll be weary and out breath once you get your job done.However if you were about to count the number of super super very very close acquaintances I had, you'll just get it done within seconds.I'm adamant that I knew myself better than anyone does.I choose my friends.It doesn't mean that I'll rather hang out with someone whose parents are wealthier or a person who is smarter.Till now I find it rather difficult to communicate with everyone or in simple words I don't feel comfortable with everyone.

Honestly speaking ,I went through six years of primary schooling with only one friend and that particular person was my best friend.So its kind of hard for both of us to accept the fact when each of us went to a different path.That's not my point.My point is I still find it very impossible to detach with someone so close to me after undergoing a very concrete relationship.

Buddhism

Look I've got completely no intention of transforming my blog into becoming a site for spreading Buddhism.As long as I can recalled,I had never mentioned anything about my religion in the past.Few minutes ago,I was just browsing through some pro Buddhist website and peruse through some really inspiring articles.I might seem to everyone even my friends to be a very normal Buddhist-a Buddhist who doesn't visits the temple regularly,a Buddhist who doesn't know where Gautama was born.Even it would not be a surprise if I tell you that my parents were not aware of how much Buddhism articles I'd read.

Frankly I can tell you that I'm not really familiar with Mandarin and Kantonis.So that leaves me with English.The problem is you can barely find any Buddhist books written in English here in Klang Valley.Its rather difficult.You can find tonnes of those in Kuala Lumpur but tell me how often you visit the temples there.Its my bad too as I can't decipher Mandarin.

I'm in opinion of that a true and sacred Buddhist is not the one who visits the shrine regularly,holding an incense and bowing down to the Buddha statues but rather the one that practices noble qualities in their everyday life.You don't need to visit the temple to be a good Buddhist.As long as you keep on practicing good and noble values in your life you'll always be a great person in Buddha's list.

I believe in Karma and I believe that every action you do today will affect you later on in your life.I feel so serene in front of the altar and the burning incense never fails to comfort me.

I'm or I'm not

I was swirling and dancing across my room with a black velvet dress.It was my first time wearing the dress after getting it from Miss Selfridge a year ago.Though the tight bodice suffocated me ,I made zero attempt in removing the attire.I reflected myself for the very last time and nodded for agreement.I grabbed my miniature handbag and stuffed my cell phone inside.Minutes later I found myself staring at someone so familiar.She craned her neck and both of us gawked in disbelief.

"Oh my gosh.You look totally as in totally different"
"Yeah you too".

We clung hands and walked into the Japanese.The lavish interior made both of us gasped and there were familiar murmurs that were getting clearer as we made our way in.There we were greeted by almost everyone we knew.

The incident aforementioned clearly described the happening of a class reunion.Its been years since we'd parted and each of us went to a different path.All of a sudden this whole event flashes back to me.I felt vulnerable thinking about the times we bid goodbye and comforting each other that we'll kept in touch.After all,Sri Lethia once seemed like a second home to me.I spent almost a decade there and as a person with feelings I still felt the lost.

I'm getting emotional day by day.

I haven't been holding a pen for like months.School commences tomorrow which means that depression is about to kick in anytime.Hahah.I'm just joking.Seriously honestly I'm not ready for school.Few weeks back I was so enthusiastic to go back to school because SCHOOL=FRIENDS.
But right now after meeting up with Ivy, Yenn and Rhenu recently,I'm not really looking forward to school tomorrow.Its going to be a hectic year ahead.I bet tomorrow going to be a very sleepy day for everyone.