Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Welcome back :)

Let me start by saying that I have no idea how I plucked this inspiration to blog suddenly!!!
I've been procrastinating this for a while. I recalled how frequent I used to blog from weekly,sometimes daily, monthly and now hardly never! It's a strange mixed feelings sitting here at 11.25 pm on a Tuesday night ready to spill my life since my last post dated January 19.

I have NO idea how I'm going to do this. Seeing that my blog had been partially inactive for a while now, I'm assuming hardly anyone reads anymore. That being said, I'll try my arduous best to convey 9 months worth of story here.

Year 2 Law School
Yes! As the title suggests, I survived Year 1 Law School and as of current I'm in week 5 of Year 2. Time flies. Law school had been interestingly fun thus far but I somehow know what to expect in the upcoming months. There's nothing much I could add since I'm only in week 5.
On the other hand, Year 1  was an incredible rollar-coaster ride. That 6 months had taught me a lot not only academically wise but mentally. The rushing of assignment (ensuring it's in the confines of the accepted plagiarism level), the last minute studying, sleepless nights, mooting, working with Amnesty for law awareness week, etc. It was a bitter-sweet experience but it was worth enduring and I believe every law student will have their story to tell. That being said, the truly amazing part of law school was meeting new people and making friendships!! And since we're on this topic, let me introduce some of my good acquaintances that had been with me through the ups and downs of my uni life!!


From L-R : Tasha, me, Joanna , Anis

Only missing Chewie (Chee hui) and CCY in the picture. LOL !! :) Thank you girls for the birthday surprise and for everything you have all done to me.

'THE FAMILY'
I had been going through some rough times lately and also for the past couple of months. But the people who really did stick by me through thick and thin and through everything is 'THE FAMILY'. LOL. I'm pretty sure that a loyal reader of mine or any close friends of mine will know where I'm leading to. Without further duo, let me introduce the people whose kindness, sincerity and friendship goes without saying.
From L-R : CCY, Chia Li, me , Melanie & Kelvin





We had our annual family trip to Redang this year. And we were having such great time there  so much so that at the end of the trip we realized we barely took any photographs hahaha :) I'd seen betrayal in friendships and I've been through one myself and that makes me appreciate them more than ever. 

Of work
I had almost 4 good months of holidays after my year 1 exams. So the first 2 months, I took time off for a vacation with the 'family' (aforementioned), spend some time with my parents, did almost all the catching up with the bestie, exercise, gym, eat, shop and basically everything that amounts to money wastage lol. But it was fun. And then comes end of July, I got seriously worried with my slumping habits, and with almost all my good friends being attached as interns to good company, I too decided to start working. I went on Job Street and browse through the jobs. It wasn't long before I stumbled on a  centrewith a vacant position. I got the job instantly but I was only required to fill in on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays night. Which leaves me with a lot of time to slump!!! 

I got a teaching job and the nature of the job was what drew my attention in the first place. I always wanted to teach. I always have this passion of sharing what I knew and it gives me joy when someone understands what I conveyed. I'd been a student for a considerable part of my life and for once I wanted to experiment how it feels like to be the teacher. I deal with kids as young as 4 yrs old. And if you ever think it was an easy ride, THINK again. Trust me, teaching is not as fun as you think. It comes with lots of patience and passion to drive you to work. But believe me once you get the hang of it, you're somehow into it. I felt the responsibility that comes with the job. Even on days when I have to attend a really important dinner, I politely declined my attendance because I can't bear to leave the kids without a teacher even for a night. 

And then comes August, I got a call one fine day when I was in the gym from a company ( whom I send my resume a few months back) and they offered me a temporary position for 2 months. Great!! The first thing that came to my mind was " How am I gonna cope with 2 jobs?" But I can't leave my teaching job simply because it doesn't pay as well as my day job. And what about the kids?
It's probably not suitable for me to discuss the nature of my day job here for I'd signed confidentiality agreement. But all I can say is that my day job had painted a brighter picture for my future. It wasn't an attachment or anything but I'm inclined and somehow intrigued to pursue in this course of line.
Hence for the 2 months from August till the start of my Year 2 terms, I juggled between 2 jobs and just to prove my point that people should not find excuses to not exercise, I run 4 km almost everyday!!!

Besties
This people go without saying. I'd spent a good 7 years of my life with them and counting counting counting.(fingers crossed). We spent every birthday, every festive season together and though we don't see each other everyday and sometimes hardly a month, our friendship bonds are as strong as ever. 

Lynn, Shankry & me


That's basically 9 months worth of story. I'd been through difficult times for the past few weeks. But I know I'll pull through it. I believe everything's gonna be fine. I believe the people in my life and most importantly God will bring me through this. There might be people who had let me down throughout this 9 months but I'm ready to let go. Let it be that the letting go as the first step towards forgiveness.  It might be very tiring but I'm ready to embark on a new chapter of my life leaving the people who had never once see me as a friend.

A very super-duper good friend of mine is going through some really difficult times too. If you're reading this, I wish to tell you that I believe that you'll figure things out and pull things through soon. And I wanna say that I and we all will always be there for you :)

p/s : all pics are courtesy of Mel, Chia li & everyone else except me 
Omgosh its so late alrdy. I have tutorials first thing tomorrow morning and I missed my TVB drama :(













Thursday, January 19, 2012

I wont give up

Once, I was so adamant , so certain that I'll stop blogging. Stop sharing my rants and vexation!!! I was going through some of the entries through the years and  realised how I so very emotional if not ridiculous in my blog. Perhaps it feels so much better spilling things out in writing in times when you can't find the right words to describe.

The past few weeks of 2012 came harsh to me. But I'm proud of myself,in fact blessed for the certain fact that I'd endured what I pledged to do. That explains the mixture of feelings whilst I'm running my fingers through the keyboard now.

I took time off to reflect on myself lately.A while ago, I decided it was essential to sit back and reflect on the things I have done- the good, the bad and etc. I find this works in a way to keep me back on the right track. Of course, I need no reminder of how mean I am to people lately. I feel bad. I do, we all do.

More importantly, I sat for my very first exam in uni. It was horrific!! And I mean it. I'm not kidding you. This is not another scenario of my school or college exam that I proclaimed I'd done appallingly. This time round I really really MEANT it.I'm not playing humble this time round. I felt embarassed coming out of the exam venue. I felt the shame.A strange sort of shame I'd never experienced before. I felt like I'd let the whole world down. My parents especially.I'd never in any way felt so inadequate in my life before.Maybe its time for me to learn how to handle a really bad fall. Perhaps I shouldnt be so harsh on myself but I do really think I did badly. :( :( :(

For better or for worst, I'll take it as it comes. But what I'm adamant of, is that I'll do all I could to not stray out of the path and the principles I held on to all these years. And I'll never give up on things even if it's not something I yearned for.Because at least I know at the end of the day, I'm doing it for 2 people who meant life to me-my parents and that's enough reason to do it. :)