A quick one

I have 10 minutes in exact to write a short post..That if at the end of the post, I don't change my mind...Trials are due next week..Pretty anxious but shouldn't get out of hand because there's nothing to be excited or jittery of..I knew how I'll fair.

The best part about exams is the two weeks due long holidays that accompany it..That's fantastically fantastic and that part should trigger more excitement and anxiety. My cousin's getting married soon and that's something different this holiday..At least, I don't have to laze around figuring what to do and ranting...

Ok...I'm running out of time...One last thing, I've been a REALLY bad student this whole year..I spent one semester regretting and only started putting in effort the second semester...too late, I guess..I wish I could turn back time...Arghhh...Everyone wishes!!!

Off for tennis

Love,
Zhenny:)

Random 21- Happy Reading

1. Today's the 8th of August and that means I am 15 days away to  trials to be exact..And I literally spent my whole day doing NOTHING close to academics.

2. My books are strewn everywhere on my table and I've no IDEA where to start...

3. Its 12.44 a.m and am currently having a bizarre craving of a good cheese cake..

4. I'm really into the 80's music..I've a special folder created in my Ipod titled country!!!

5. I'm still into royals..the fact never change

6. I REALLY NEED TO STUDY!!

7. I'm writing everything that pops on my head now!!!!

8. I never knew all this while ,my dad send sweet texts to my mum when he's away for work..(:

9. Petula Clark and Olivia Newton John are incredible!!!

10. I finally removed my earring!!!

11. My ears are itchy and I'm trying to resist my fingers anywhere near it!!!

12. I love my friends!!!

13. I'm up for something crazy, something that will give me that amount of rush!!!

14. I feel like playing tennis with a guy...hahha..random but I have someone on my mind now!!!

15. I used to hate accounting but I'm in the process of seeing the wonders behind it..

16. When I solved  a really difficult maths question, I write "WONDERS OF MATHS" or "STUPID" beside the question!!

17. I really need to catch some sleep...

18. I need to lose weight!!!( a joke)

19. I want to dance so badly!!! I'll think about enrolling myself into dance class...

20. Finally, I yearn to indulge myself in real laugh more often...Real laugh  which means laughing till my stomach aches!!!

21. I missed my grandma!! Alright lets not get there!!!!I love her!!!

Queen at Heart

Queen Victoria

- The longest and youngest reigning monarch to date..

Her romance with Prince Albert had been the greatest love story..Trust me..Watch Young Victoria

Queen Elizabeth II

- Present Queen of England

Queen Rania of Jordon

- An inspiration to all woman... Her ingenuity  and thorough commitment in instilling education amongst children and woman is just pure inspiration.

Quote-As you educate a woman, you educate the family. If you educate the girls, you educate the future.

Crown Princess Mary of Denmark

The one and only

Princess Diana

All my life, I've never been really fond of anything in particular. Or I would rather say fancy of something for a reasonable amount of time..And finally I could safely say that I'd discovered one...Take a guess..

Yes!!!!

ROYALTY!!!

Why????Royalties fascinate me in every way...I had always been curious on how they live their lives...and still am curious... !!!! If I was to talk about a royal, let say Queen Victoria, I could go on for hours but let's not get there first...For as much as I adore them, its that generous amount that I'm inspired by a handful of them.

And deep down, its my lifelong fantasy to be one of them..hehhehe...stop dreaming!!!

Pierced!!!

 Everyone once told me that piercing your ears aren't that painful..Indeed piercing is not that painful.In fact to be honest, it wasn't painful at all..When the sound of the piercing gun pierced through the silence, my immediate response was " Yeah, they were right...it's painless!!" For a second or two, I was beaming inside and after that ' WOOSHHH'... The aftermath pain...it was excruciating..!!!! It's not red ants bite like how some people describe it to me...it's way way way way more excruciating then ants biting...It's crucial...

It was tolerable though...but still disturbing pain!!! And now I'm trying to figure out how to turn my earrings...how???? It's not moving and it hurts when I attempted to do so....

Please..no infection please!!!

10 RANDOM POST

1. My eczema is getting from bad to worst. And its worrying my parents a lot, especially my dad  cause

eczema means frequent usage of steroid.

2. It's been a LONG time since I last watched a show that moved me to tears. I spent my evening watching

 My Sister's Keeper..And surprisingly it turned out better than I'd expected. Though I like the book

better..And while we are on the topics of movies, I managed to catch Inception with my classmates last

Friday..A show worth spending 2 hours 30 minutes in the cinema. Extraordinary though I don't really get

fractions of the show..Am planning to watch it again sometime next week!!:)

3. I'd basically wasted my whole Saturday doing NOTHING!!!! And while I always believe that Saturday is

a day for doing something more leisure and relaxing,today its just different.I was literally out the whole

day. But on a more delighted note,I had a really decent dinner with my parents whilst my brother was in his

friend's house...I managed to fill my dad in with current things happening in my life ranging from an array of

topics such as my new friends, studies and a little bit about general stuff.

4. I need GUTS...

5.Trials in 30 days or so, and yet I've done no whatsoever attempts in pushing my oh -so -poor grades  

up!!!!

6. I'm having  very bad cravings for waffles...waffles with cold ice-cream..OMG..this is BAD..especially

when I'm trying shed some pounds now....

7. Tennis is addictive!!!!

8. I missed Sri Lethia...(maybe not so much of the school  but the people in it)

9. I'd depression once a long time ago( to all my new friends who don't know about this)...and I'm not

ashamed of it in any way....and PLEASE AR, I'M NOT SIAO!!!...I have depression because I had very

chronic sleep apnea..I can go on  not sleeping entirely for two or three days.And it's not because I do not

want to sleep but just because I CAN'T!!!

10. I YEARN FOR A REALLY GOOD LAUGH!!!!

TEMPERAMENTAL

1.I'm having a really BAD mood swing now...CHRONIC!!! I rarely have mood swings but yeah, I guess it's
  okay to have it once in a while.

2. On the other note, I should be studying right now with trials approaching in a month or two, and not striding my fingers across the keyboard.Instead ,I'd basically wasted the whole night watching a good episode of Grey's and perusing some really good royalty articles.

3.  And for the first time following the weeks after college commences, I feel vulnerable. I feel like going back to the enjoying college part.. And like I say, I'm having very bad mood swings today and my senses aren't right.

4.  Whilst I'm on the topic of mood swings, I really feel like having few good strokes of tennis NOW!! Right
     now at 10.30 p.m..

5. My knees hurt like hell..the aftermath of playing swift tennis.

6. My eczema palms are getting from bad to worst and I'm going back to steroids.The itchiness and the splitting of the skin is driving me to a frigging POINT!!!

7. My college mates need to start believing that I'm not studying TOO hard. In an attempt to influence them to study, I end up  beingly knowned as the source of stress....hhahah..FAILED PLAN..but it's up to them to believe my motives though.

CONCLUSION: MY LIFE SUCKS.

So yeah!! College commences last week and surprisingly I didn't dread it as much as I reckon I would.That's good, huh.!!! The reason being I'd dropped law unofficially so I spent most of my time in the library either doing maths or catching up some unfinished homework. Bliss of life.

Something came up and apparently now I can't drop law anymore.And this is awesomely depressing. I already have a plan etched on my mind as to how I would spend my free lessons and I'm so looking forward to it. I hate it when things don't turn out the way I expected it too. So now no more free lessons, no more extra time to do maths and unfinished homework..arghhhh!!!! Back to hectic!!!!

On the other hand, I met up with my ex-primary mates , some of which are studying in the same institution as me and some of which are going abroad to study. It was fun.Very nice,meaningful especially when we reminisced about old times. It's like a small gathering and a farewell party for my best friend who's going abroad to study some time this month. Aww..Sherrie I'm gonna to miss u so so much.. We've literally spend almost all our lives together since nursery let say-14 years...is it 14???? And 6 years apart from one another doesn't stop us from sharing secrets,deep secrets with one another..hehhehe..old times!!!

It's 12.52 a.m now. I should probably be sleeping or at least try to sleep.But I made no attempts in both.Reasons being, lite fm is playing some really good music. School commences tomorrow and I'm pretty excited .I've got the rest I yearned for. Now, its finally time for me to push myself really hard!!! Easier said then done...

I love blogging.This is probably random but I love blogging. I've been a constant blogger for years and the passion never wears off.Maybe once or twice but I got over it eventually. Blogging gives me that measure of excitement, and adrenaline rush. I feel sincere, genuine and honest. Because it's much easier conveying honest opinions, thoughts and rants by writing rather than to a person, an individual. I love letting my thoughts run and my fingers doing the magic.Blogging to me is something that can be done when the mood kicks in. So of late , I've been perusing my older posts and at times I really want to go back to embrace that similar feeling, that similar excitement or sorrows I'd when writing it. And there's this particular one that I'll never forget how I wrote it from the place I wrote it to the fat ball of tears that wet my face. And I still feel emotional perusing it after such a long time.

That apart, I spend my holidays watching lots of movies and perusing  storybooks. And I know I sound really pathetic now.Hahahha..blame it on those sad romance movies!!!! Yeah and  I finally finished watching Grey's season 6. It was EPIC..

I felt  it's only a matter of time for me to do things that will bring me to the next chapter of my life.Yeah and the songs in lite fm are real good now and I can't bring myself to bed right now!!!! I miss Sue Ann:- random but again honest opinion.I miss Lynnette too.Lots of catching up to do.

HERE IT IS

Good things happen to those who tried hard or at least tried their level best. And excellent results come with efforts not mediocre, but great and hard.

So yeah..My results are out!!! It was one of the worst but yet it wasn't astonishing.I half-expected that it'll turn out worst , much much worst, but it wasn't too bad. Here is it. My very first screwed up exam.

I reckon this is somehow good. It's like a boost, somehow like a tough lesson learnt. I somehow feel there's no point going on about certain things and I feel different.Just different.

I  was suppose to write a happy entry about my recent short trip to Penang, the place I always call home and a long long entry about my dad. I'll try tomorrow!!!

For once after a long long time , I felt alone.

The whole feeling just kicked in today and I'd never felt like this for eons. Reasons being, I'm on a two weeks term long break and practically ALL my friends are busy with their stuffs.I miss those days where I could just pick up the telephone, punched in a number knowing that someone will be ready to hear me out.These days are different.

And I'm feeling very disturbed now for God knows why!!!

I'm finally done with my very first college exam. Good experience though besides the fact that I'd completely flunk every single paper...accounting in particular. And this time it's for real.In high school,I used to say I screwed up  and still managed an 'A' or worst comes to worst a 'B' at least.But now in college it's a completely different scenario, 'screw' means a 'D' or a safe 'C'!!!!

Whatever happens,I'm on a two weeks long ,term break. And I can already feel the mundane feeling sinking in.This is bad.But I yearn for a rest , so no rants.

For the moments, I can't get my thoughts together..So I guess that's pretty all for now..

HAPPY READING!!!!

I  shouldn't be here in the first place but the mood to blog somehow kicked in today.Firstly, my very first college semester exams are due next week.And for the first time in my life, I genuinely could say that I'm not near an inch close to being ready for the exams. I haven't been really studying this whole year.Life's just easy going for me this year.Maybe I need a break.I've been pushing myself quite hard for the last 5 years.So yeah!!!A break but it's not for long.

On a rapturous note, we have two weeks of holidays effective immediately after the exams.I'd always like holidays after exam..And I seriously need a beach vacation..I can't wait..And my books are waiting for me to peruse them.I can hear them every time I looked at my bookshelf screaming 'PICK ME UP'..!!!!

College has been really fun these days.It's just the people in it that make it better.Me,Sue and Jun Wei had an enormous amount of fun from skipping classes to studying together to laughing at stupid jokes. Alright skipping classes are bad but a little is not toooo bad..hahhaha..The old me will shrug at the idea of skipping classes, but NEW me thinks it's alright to skip class for a good cause.Perhaps I've change.

And I like changes.Before I drift off yesterday in bed, I thought about how far I've come-not too far but far enough for me to realise certain things.My prospects and views on certain things have indeed change and these days, for the past weeks or so,I felt it:-the change,the whole feeling and its exciting.I need this, an adrenaline push.Though it'll wears off soon.I get bored like real fast.

I'm looking forward to what life can offer me.Because my life had change tremendously throughout the years and these changes have drive me into becoming someone , not to sure whether its good or bad.But one thing  for sure-there are certain principles in my life that I'll NEVER deviate from.

Alright I should be studying now and I'm gonna change my blog's template like real soon and a chat box..I know I need that.

Love,
Zhen

Quick one!!!

A quick one..It's 10 minutes past bedtime already..Life so far had been great excluding the pressure and the fact that I'm about to sit for a very important exam in weeks....And for the first time in my life,I felt pressured academically..I felt it and its bad...

On another note, I realised school is getting better these days...Somehow or rather I still prefer using school instead of college..Anyway classes become less mundane just by a little-insignificantly and after school discussions just got better punctuated with chortles and random stuffs..Me,Sue and Jun are just capable of doing things beyond human capacity...

Maybe its only me who realise this change but I'm pretty adamant about it......

4 Months and That's it!!!

I always knew I was that girl.That  girl who never gives up easily and whose life was filled with incessant perseverance and determination.That girl who have her life goals set out and work hard towards it.But today,I was no longer that girl.I found myself looking at the mirror and I saw a different individual staring back at me.A girl who takes life for granted and never trying hard enough to meet her goals..
And for the first time this year,I prayed so hard for this new me to just vanish and disappear..


I found myself comparing the similarities in me during primary school and now..And I certainly could name a lot.But those years in primary school are the years that I would very much hope to put aside..Because though those years were filled with memories that proved difficult to get rid of,those were the years that I regretted much,that I wished I could put more effort it..And I certainly wish and pray that my years in college aren't like those years in primary.


On the other hand, high school had taught me lots.And those years in high school were the years I would never regret of the things I'd done.


And come to think of it,I'm 4 months into college..And what have I done so far..what have I done????


Nothing that would make me proud of myself..This time last year or the year before last,I was already soaring academically or had partially achieved my goals in high school..


Now that I am hit with a pang of realisation,it was already quite too late for me..This 4 months are the disgrace in my life and I never wish to prolong it further.

Blogging n Diary

There are certain thoughts and perceptions that you just can't open up and share with people...These thoughts will end up in diary..On the other note,there are happy,elated stories that are worth sharing..These stories end up in your blog...

But for the moment,I have no stories worth sharing with but lots of thoughts and perceptions lingering in my mind...So I seek comfort in my diary!!!That's for now!!!!

And I'm glad that the spelling check icon is back..Or was it here for some time..I haven't been blogging in eons!!!!So yeah!!!!Back to studying law!!!!

I'm seriously mad right now..Like pissed....

Some people are just plain selfish...Self-centered...I just can't believe myself...Myself for being friends with people who are just plain self-centered...what's more...I tolerated her for years....I certainly can't see the logic behind it..

It's just plain childish the way she acts..She still thinks I'm the old me...The old me who can still tolerate that degree of attitude she possesed...Somehow or rather, I seemed to be fine with what she does few years back but today,I can't ,I just can't. Perhaps I did change..Or rather I would say I'm not living the life the way she wants me too..

If ever,she happens to stumble across my blog,yeah!!!Here it is!!Here's how I feel about you all along!!

And yeah,I sort of feel better now..I seldom blog when I'm mad...But somehow I'm doing it now...Inspired by Sue I guess...It feels so good....Damn she's good

Years don't count

Someone once told me that years don't count when it comes to friendships.I argued back and shrugged her off. I personally feel that a strong and rigid relationship needs years to build.That amount of trust and connection you have for someone,it takes years!!!

Today however,I choose to believe the opposite.Time indeed, proves to me that  years don't count when it comes to relationships.And at this point of my life ,i strongly believe that all that matters now is your genuine and honest perceptions about people.I'm fully adamant now that years don't act as a determinant in measuring the value of friendship.

There's this certain phase of your life that you realise that you are feigning all these while.But all you can do back then is just to ignore that tiny feeling and move on.But when you finally move on for real,then will you realise how foolish you are.

When it comes to relationships,friendships in particular self-centered and selfishness are not in my dictionary.And when you have that capability of commiting something outside my degree of tolerance,again and again,all I could tell you is that it's over.

There's just this gap,however diminished in size it is,it's still there.I'm also determine that I would be better off with people whom I just met.It's just that feeling!!!!

The moral of the story is: YEARS DON'T COUNT!!!

The mood of blogging hasn't really kick these past few days if not weeks.

So yeah!!! I just had the most powerful  nap in three months.Naps just work wonders..Trust me..Since I'm already here, I might as well share something..If there's one significant difference in terms of routines between high school and college is the amount of naps I take in a week..Back in high school,it's nap every day.Some days naps could be as long as 4 hours,some days less..Now that I'm in college,I RARELY take naps..and if I do,I could only manage Friday evening.

Naps..yeah....today is Friday..and Friday is NAP DAY....so...I took a nap and I'd the most disturbing dreams......dreams that are so questioning...dreams that I wish I could have slept on to know the outcomes...dreams that make me question about people I knew..I dreamt about my classmates.....my new classmates..

Speaking about classmates, I felt I'm getting along very well with them.(keeps my fingers crossed)

And after an immensely long time, I really feel like studying.Studying which means going back to my old routine of strict 3 hours a day.

And I'm starting to despise the virtual world that I used to dislike back in high school,love it when college started and now in the process of despising it..

On another note,seeing my close friend in class, Sue, blogs make me feel like I should stop blogging..Her blog is so personal and happy..Perusing her blog is almost like reading happy things blog.She might sounds depressing in some of her post,but just the layout and the entire blog that just lights you up and you finally realise a crack in your smile once you're done reading.That personal touch..hard to decipher..Hahaha.

Yes or No????

You know how it feels like to start acclimatizing in a new place,new environment and then all of a sudden you are forced to go back to a place you dreaded so much...A place filled with so much memories to cherish and ponder..Memories that jog into your memory every now and then and memories that you wish you could leave behind and move on..

So yeah!!!!I half-expectedly reckon that going back to school would be fun.I was real estatic.But when the day finally arrived,and I finally walked into the school,I felt nothing.All of a sudden,it just seems like I'm walking into a place so foreign,I can barely recognize the feeling.

And today I finally realised, that when you are already part of something new or perhaps still embarking on a journey into being part of  something extraordinary,the past is just history.And history is not meant to be repeated.

Ask me now if I would want to go back to high school.The answer is a big NO.It's too late.I'd decided and  hopped into a new cab which will ride me through another extraordinary journey......

Till then,
Zhen

I'm not elated nor ravenous about my results.I'm neither happy nor sad too.My results are mediocre because academically I'm mediocre too.So no complaint!!!

So yeah!!10A's including (GCE) and a B+ for English for Science and Technology(EST).It's damn not worth it..but no complains though