New doesn't always means good

I very much adore the fact that there's only 9 days left for the 'DAY'.The reason is of course not because I'm ready for it.I'm not ready and I'll never will be ready for it.Give me another month,another year and my answer will still be not ready.The fact is obvious-I'm never perfect,I'm a mediocre and I disguise it.I dislike it to the very end.

I dream so much.My blog's moniker is 'DARE TO DREAM'.I have such high hopes,such high aims which are almost impossible to accomplish.No more mansions,no more air-conditioned latrines.I want Prince Harry now.Can you believe it???How your fantasies can bring you so far sometimes???And I'm adamant that Prince Harry is not another celebrity crush.I'm already living in a virtual world.So my point is that,I have such vast,huge dreams but nil efforts.So how now????

Major exam in 8 days to be accurate and no extra efforts.

And by the way new doesn't always means good.

I hate birthdays.I never like it.I just don't like it.No,there are no specific incidents that made me hate birthdays.I just hate my birthday.Not others.

I was in a state of quandary on whether I should or should not sing tomorrow.So I've make up my mind.I will be singing tomorrow.

I just finished perusing The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown.A bit too late, huh.All this while the book had been lying untouched in my study.The reason was obvious-I thought it would turn out to be another non-fiction,science type of book.It didn't and surprisingly I like it.

Wow

Grey's Anatomy Season 6 is out.I can't wait.Will it be Izzie or O Malley???

Pangkor Version II

Now that I'm back from Golden Sand(another name for Pangkor),I really need to concentrate on shedding some serious weight.Second time round and I can tell you that the excitement and energy were still hard to bear.We chose to accommodate in the same resort,the mere fact that it's posh and they have beautiful,private beaches(ignore the total damage caused).You know when I say private beaches,it means that you don't share it with outsiders.For instance,If you happen to go to Penang,even in the most expensive hotels outsiders can just walk in and use the beach.And that explains why they have dirty beaches.In this resort however,outsiders are not allowed and you can't just walk in.You have to endure a 30-minutes ferry ride to get there and the ferry rides are exorbitant and exclusive.Outsiders wouldn't want to endure long,expensive ferry rides.That explains it.

Another obvious reason why I'd chose this resort is that you can't go anywhere.The point is that you got nowhere to go.It's an island and the only mode of transport is a ferry.You feel like you're in a foreign,new and not so 'Malaysiaish' place.You see 'mat sallehs' ' everywhere,every corner.The fact that they walk around naked bring you further away.However this is only true until you see 'nasi lemak' for breakfast.

Check out all the pictures at my Facebook.

I didn't get a chance to tell you about my previous trip right there.But taking another journey down memory lane was hard to resist, too hard that I'd almost cried on the last night of our stay.I learnt myriad things:-ride a bicycle,play ping-pong.

The date is set.Last minute preparations are immense.Everyone is elated and not to mention enthusiastic as the day approaches.If everything goes on as scheduled,I,Tan Pei Zhen and family will be making another trip down to Pangkor.

Yeah,I try to make it sound like a wedding is about to take place.Nah,anyway I'm extremely ravenous.A break,finally.I basically spent the past few days Googling Princess Diana:- everything about her from A-Z.I just adore her in every way.A princess-every one's dream to be one,huh.

I'm staying up late today to catch up MTV Video Music Awards.8tv better be right this time.Till then,I'll see all of you again on Thursday.

Dare to Believe

All my years of schooling,I always believe that just a little bit more effort, a little bit more hard work you can easily make your way to the top of your class.And 11 years of schooling also bring me to realise that working hard and putting more efforts doesn't apply to me.Not because I'm a slow learner or I'm dumb but just the fact I get enthusiastic so fast.I have such high hopes and the next minute I find myself crumbling down.I always have these visions of me doing very well in exams (which never happen).And these visions are the culprits to all my sleepless nights,my very first teenage depression and me being dubbed 'Cranko' by some of my friends.The more I bring myself to think about it,the situation becomes worst.I became more and more anxious,more excited and the outcome became unbearable.

So I'd decided to let my dreams and visions flow.I rather choose to stay moderate and modest than ruining my life.Sometimes what's not yours is not yours.I believe the day will come where I'll strive-maybe by than it'll be million times greater than this.So I'd stop trying.

Damn it!!!What took me so long to figure it out??

It's difficult to move on with life,feigning and faking when you know what's really happening.And to top up my frustration,this is the first thing that greets me when I surf the net.

They're back together.

I'm done with B.M,Sej and by tomorrow English.B.M turns out to be freaking difficult.Of course,its BM what no surprise.I guessed I screwed up paper 2-the literature part.I hate literature and to worsen things up its in BM???Sejarah didn't turn out to what I'd expected.I thought I was going to damage the entire paper 2.But not too bad, it turns out well.Enough to get what I deserve.English is basically English.But I thought I ruined my essays also.Enough said.Conclusion is that I screwed up most of my papers.

You know sometimes I wonder and ponder how some people move on with their lives so easily.How they can adapt and acclimatize to a new culture so easily??To leave a bunch of friends,move on and lead life somewhere new.Honestly if it's me,I think it'll not be easy.Very random,I know-can't help it.

The Young Victoria

So yeah!!I just finished watching The Young Victoria.Pretty good,I would say.Worth watching unless you're very much into British Royalty-which I am.

Eczema

You know what's the most difficult thing when it comes to dealing with eczema???I would say its not the skin breaking part neither the fears when bath time approaches nor the agony that one has to undergo when anything(you name it) touches your skin.It's the self-esteem,the confidence that you very much lose every time the skin breaks and your hand gets scaly,rough and blistery.And the last thing you very much hope for is that the eczema doesn't spreads on obvious areas of your body.

I've eczema ever since I was five.Five!!!When other people my age get to hold soft toys, animals and barbie dolls,I was only allowed to play with Lego sets.At first,I wasn't really bothered with scaly skin and rough,wrinkled palmbut that was only true until people around me started taking notice.All of a sudden they sparked up conversations about my scaly palm and they seem so enthusiastic like its something new to them,something rare , something bizarre.

At first,I wasn't at all affected by it, but strange as it might sound, after 12 years I started feeling vulnerable.I started loosing the boost,the confidence that I used to have.It's all gone before I come to realize.

So three days ago ,I paid a visit to a dermatologist(at last).And now I'm undergoing steroid treatment.Yeah!!My eczema was so bad to the extent that I'm using steroid now.My skin has very much improved since then.And I haven't done this for an extemely long period of time.

"I'M HAPPY"

Just a few minutes ago,I was on the phone with Divya and she conveyed to me her fear for HINI.She also told me that rumours had it that a girl from our school- afternoon session had caught the virus.Truthfully,I'm not afraid.The fact that I'm an asthma patient should make me fear more of contradicting the virus.But I'm not an inch afraid or fear for it.I don't know why.But these days I'd been thinking very positively.But positive in a weirdest way.

I attempted thrice for the past three days to come up with a happy post-something to show that I'm ravenous and elated at least.My attempts were futile, so I'm going to stop trying.I'd decided that I'm just going to rant on with my dramatic stories and maybe one fine day (hopefully) , I'll come back writing a happy post.

It gets on my nerves that the weather is so unpredictable sometimes and for that I did not get to exercise this week.My sweat is so going to taste salty.

I didn't realise I was wearing a TOPSHOP to play tennis until today.Funny me!!!

Laughing out loud

Please take note that I'm no more affiliated to the prefectorial board any more.Which means that now I'll appreciate everyone addressing me as Pei Zhen not prefect ah.



So last Thursday was the last meeting and I can't believe I'd actually showed up.Anyway last Thursday was also the day that I'd heard the most ludicrous and inefficient thing in the world.Have you by any chance come across any authority who give you a warning letter and then the next day apologize and pull back the letter??I'd come across one.There the prefectorial board.



If you're wondering,they didn't pull back my warning letter as I failed to present my witnesses before the said date.What the heck????Witnesses.Its this some kind of court proceedings or what.You can easily bribe you friend and come up with witnesses.Isn't that simple???



Yeah, and I happen to come up with another evidence.Ivy and I are very much like critics so we prefer to sit right back.Often we were blocked by a group of tall,lanky prefects.Christina Gan, a girl about my height also prefers to sit at the back.So she was one of the many people who got wrongly accused.She managed to come up with five witnesses.My question now is :

1) Ivy and me are equally short.What are our chances??

Conclusion is that the secretary of the upcoming board needs to at least has the courtesy to lift their heavy ass and scans the room twice.

What a disgrace???

Lately,I can't bring myself to write a happy entry.And it means that I'm still upset.That's why yesterday, I'd booked myself in for a facial session with ADONIS.And for the record,I'd actually stopped thinking throughout the session.It was miracle.I felt so serene,so tranquil and so pampered yesterday.I wasn't feeling upset,guilty nor angry.My emotional outrage was gone.The shoulder massage did the magic,I guess.

Moving on,I'd been doing a lot of thinking lately and I feel its time I get rid of all this superstitious and nonsensical thinking.And things that happen to me lately made me realised that sometimes it's better to not listen.It's better not to know so much because the fact hurts.Bringing yourself to face the truth will be heartbreaking.And feigning that nothing much happens will be a big lie.So why bother knowing the truth???A lesson that I'd learnt lately-start pretending.

Clumsy me.So what!!!

I fell down yesterday.Flat.Here is how it happens.There was a huge rock in front of me so I skipped in a attempt to avoid it.But my legs were too short so I tripped and fell down on my knees.The wound wasn't really bad but my father got so hypochondriac all over it.I think I fractured my toe,but still managed to pull through tennis for two days.I'm not 'lembik'.I'm clumsy.So what.My feets are uneven.So what.

Back to the warning letter story,the more I bring myself to think about it,the more I think about resigning soon.Of course, for some people who don't go for meetings often and was bestowed a warning letter,it was no shocking news.But hey, I have friends coming around asking me what happen in meeting almost every week and she didn't get a warning letter.She barely knows what happen in meetings.

Just because she hands in a letter every time she skips meetings,making her better than me.I should have known this trick.Stupid me!!I should have actually construct a pile of letters with pathetic reasons and hand it in every time I skip meeting.Hey, girl isn't that easy.How long it takes to write a letter??Besides,my father writes up to 40 letters a day.Corporate letters I mean.Letters like this wouldn't take him long.

It all comes back to the point of how inefficient the board is or like my mum said "What a waste of time??Come back and play tennis better, lah".Anyway what is over is over.I told my dad yesterday night and he actually asked why I didn't bring back the letter.He could have write a lengthy note for the Head Prefect straight away.Tomorrow I'm going to get the letter and see what I could do with it.

I'm calling Sherrie now.After all,she's the only one willing to listen to me.

Biggest Mistake

A year later,I'll look back and cherish today.Because today God had blessed me with life's greatest lesson.A lesson that I'll cherish and ponder.I cried.I cried endlessly today witnessed by spectators.My life I cry for only two solid reasons:-one if I'm really upset and two I'm really angry.I was flabbergasted today.

Believe it or not , I got a warning letter from the prefectorial board.For what cause.For not attending meetings.The best part was I didn't get an asthma attack at that time.I think it would be cool having a few people carrying me to the 'bilik sakit'.For heaven sake,if its me getting a warning letter for not attending meeting than almost 3/4 of the board would be in a state of jeopardy.My mum almost got a heart attack when I conveyed the news to her.People whom I don't see them in meetings escaped without any warning letter.

I questioned the secretary in a stern voice.And guess what.She asked me to bring back the letter and come back with my parent's signature the next day.I threw the letter right at her face and yelled saying that getting my parent's signature is equivalent to me accepting the fault.Which means no way.I created a hell of chaos in the whole area.So brilliant Miss Head Prefect got the news and started the usual routine.She went around asking people whether they've seen me in meetings.The secretary started coaxing me saying that maybe it's just a mistake.Back off.If it's a mistake rectify it and then give me the letter.

I started crying and now the idea of crying sounds ridiculous to me.When I start crying,I can't stop.Angelita and Rayel was two kind beings who actually try to cool me down.I stormed into the class and sat next to Joanna.After that,I felt so much better.

The fact that everyone tries to point out to me is that I'm going to leave the board in a week or two.Why bother to create a mess?I have principles in my life and try compromising it,I'll not leave you in peace.Even if it means resigning a day before the official date,I will.Because integrity is so much more important than a piece of decrepit certificate coming from a abysmal board led by an unqualified leader.I was brought up with principles.I don't go around agreeing with others.

Seriously speaking,if not for Ling Wei I wouldn't be bother to carry out my responsibilities.I'm not losing even an inch.Unless I get an explanation,my decision are yet to differ.

Tham was freaking funny today.She thought that I cried because of my marks.C'mon Tham.

I played good tennis today.I managed to scribble the letters 'PB' on the balls and my blows were hard enough to make Mr Choo gasps.

Crocs Rocks!!

A new addition to my Crocs collections.Behold:

By the way,my bags arrived today.Words can't describe how I'm feeling right now.

Bags

Words that best describe the past few days-HELLISH yet AWESOME.Hellish for the fact that I'd successfully screwed up all my papers again and Awesome for the mere fact that I'd slept through almost all the nights.I guess this means that I'm officially insomnia-free.I hope so.

Of late,I'd been having very bizarre dreams.Questioning dreams that aren't scary,which ends up making me chewing my last bit of nails attempting to interpret it.Also,I'd been very demanding lately.You know everyone who know me pretty well got to agree that I'm not a very obsess person.I deal with things pretty well.For instant, I really want another pair of flip-flops from Crocs however I got over it after some time.Still I want it though.Anyway I got really provoked and annoyed last weekend and I decided that burning some cash would be the best medicine to ease my mood.I indulge on a mini shopping spree and ended up getting a T-shirt from MANGO.

My cousin sister was kind enough to fly me some branded bags all the way from London.Behold:

I can't wait.