The Young Victoria

So yeah!!I just finished watching The Young Victoria.Pretty good,I would say.Worth watching unless you're very much into British Royalty-which I am.

Eczema

You know what's the most difficult thing when it comes to dealing with eczema???I would say its not the skin breaking part neither the fears when bath time approaches nor the agony that one has to undergo when anything(you name it) touches your skin.It's the self-esteem,the confidence that you very much lose every time the skin breaks and your hand gets scaly,rough and blistery.And the last thing you very much hope for is that the eczema doesn't spreads on obvious areas of your body.

I've eczema ever since I was five.Five!!!When other people my age get to hold soft toys, animals and barbie dolls,I was only allowed to play with Lego sets.At first,I wasn't really bothered with scaly skin and rough,wrinkled palmbut that was only true until people around me started taking notice.All of a sudden they sparked up conversations about my scaly palm and they seem so enthusiastic like its something new to them,something rare , something bizarre.

At first,I wasn't at all affected by it, but strange as it might sound, after 12 years I started feeling vulnerable.I started loosing the boost,the confidence that I used to have.It's all gone before I come to realize.

So three days ago ,I paid a visit to a dermatologist(at last).And now I'm undergoing steroid treatment.Yeah!!My eczema was so bad to the extent that I'm using steroid now.My skin has very much improved since then.And I haven't done this for an extemely long period of time.

"I'M HAPPY"

Just a few minutes ago,I was on the phone with Divya and she conveyed to me her fear for HINI.She also told me that rumours had it that a girl from our school- afternoon session had caught the virus.Truthfully,I'm not afraid.The fact that I'm an asthma patient should make me fear more of contradicting the virus.But I'm not an inch afraid or fear for it.I don't know why.But these days I'd been thinking very positively.But positive in a weirdest way.

I attempted thrice for the past three days to come up with a happy post-something to show that I'm ravenous and elated at least.My attempts were futile, so I'm going to stop trying.I'd decided that I'm just going to rant on with my dramatic stories and maybe one fine day (hopefully) , I'll come back writing a happy post.

It gets on my nerves that the weather is so unpredictable sometimes and for that I did not get to exercise this week.My sweat is so going to taste salty.

I didn't realise I was wearing a TOPSHOP to play tennis until today.Funny me!!!

Laughing out loud

Please take note that I'm no more affiliated to the prefectorial board any more.Which means that now I'll appreciate everyone addressing me as Pei Zhen not prefect ah.



So last Thursday was the last meeting and I can't believe I'd actually showed up.Anyway last Thursday was also the day that I'd heard the most ludicrous and inefficient thing in the world.Have you by any chance come across any authority who give you a warning letter and then the next day apologize and pull back the letter??I'd come across one.There the prefectorial board.



If you're wondering,they didn't pull back my warning letter as I failed to present my witnesses before the said date.What the heck????Witnesses.Its this some kind of court proceedings or what.You can easily bribe you friend and come up with witnesses.Isn't that simple???



Yeah, and I happen to come up with another evidence.Ivy and I are very much like critics so we prefer to sit right back.Often we were blocked by a group of tall,lanky prefects.Christina Gan, a girl about my height also prefers to sit at the back.So she was one of the many people who got wrongly accused.She managed to come up with five witnesses.My question now is :

1) Ivy and me are equally short.What are our chances??

Conclusion is that the secretary of the upcoming board needs to at least has the courtesy to lift their heavy ass and scans the room twice.

What a disgrace???

Lately,I can't bring myself to write a happy entry.And it means that I'm still upset.That's why yesterday, I'd booked myself in for a facial session with ADONIS.And for the record,I'd actually stopped thinking throughout the session.It was miracle.I felt so serene,so tranquil and so pampered yesterday.I wasn't feeling upset,guilty nor angry.My emotional outrage was gone.The shoulder massage did the magic,I guess.

Moving on,I'd been doing a lot of thinking lately and I feel its time I get rid of all this superstitious and nonsensical thinking.And things that happen to me lately made me realised that sometimes it's better to not listen.It's better not to know so much because the fact hurts.Bringing yourself to face the truth will be heartbreaking.And feigning that nothing much happens will be a big lie.So why bother knowing the truth???A lesson that I'd learnt lately-start pretending.

Clumsy me.So what!!!

I fell down yesterday.Flat.Here is how it happens.There was a huge rock in front of me so I skipped in a attempt to avoid it.But my legs were too short so I tripped and fell down on my knees.The wound wasn't really bad but my father got so hypochondriac all over it.I think I fractured my toe,but still managed to pull through tennis for two days.I'm not 'lembik'.I'm clumsy.So what.My feets are uneven.So what.

Back to the warning letter story,the more I bring myself to think about it,the more I think about resigning soon.Of course, for some people who don't go for meetings often and was bestowed a warning letter,it was no shocking news.But hey, I have friends coming around asking me what happen in meeting almost every week and she didn't get a warning letter.She barely knows what happen in meetings.

Just because she hands in a letter every time she skips meetings,making her better than me.I should have known this trick.Stupid me!!I should have actually construct a pile of letters with pathetic reasons and hand it in every time I skip meeting.Hey, girl isn't that easy.How long it takes to write a letter??Besides,my father writes up to 40 letters a day.Corporate letters I mean.Letters like this wouldn't take him long.

It all comes back to the point of how inefficient the board is or like my mum said "What a waste of time??Come back and play tennis better, lah".Anyway what is over is over.I told my dad yesterday night and he actually asked why I didn't bring back the letter.He could have write a lengthy note for the Head Prefect straight away.Tomorrow I'm going to get the letter and see what I could do with it.

I'm calling Sherrie now.After all,she's the only one willing to listen to me.

Biggest Mistake

A year later,I'll look back and cherish today.Because today God had blessed me with life's greatest lesson.A lesson that I'll cherish and ponder.I cried.I cried endlessly today witnessed by spectators.My life I cry for only two solid reasons:-one if I'm really upset and two I'm really angry.I was flabbergasted today.

Believe it or not , I got a warning letter from the prefectorial board.For what cause.For not attending meetings.The best part was I didn't get an asthma attack at that time.I think it would be cool having a few people carrying me to the 'bilik sakit'.For heaven sake,if its me getting a warning letter for not attending meeting than almost 3/4 of the board would be in a state of jeopardy.My mum almost got a heart attack when I conveyed the news to her.People whom I don't see them in meetings escaped without any warning letter.

I questioned the secretary in a stern voice.And guess what.She asked me to bring back the letter and come back with my parent's signature the next day.I threw the letter right at her face and yelled saying that getting my parent's signature is equivalent to me accepting the fault.Which means no way.I created a hell of chaos in the whole area.So brilliant Miss Head Prefect got the news and started the usual routine.She went around asking people whether they've seen me in meetings.The secretary started coaxing me saying that maybe it's just a mistake.Back off.If it's a mistake rectify it and then give me the letter.

I started crying and now the idea of crying sounds ridiculous to me.When I start crying,I can't stop.Angelita and Rayel was two kind beings who actually try to cool me down.I stormed into the class and sat next to Joanna.After that,I felt so much better.

The fact that everyone tries to point out to me is that I'm going to leave the board in a week or two.Why bother to create a mess?I have principles in my life and try compromising it,I'll not leave you in peace.Even if it means resigning a day before the official date,I will.Because integrity is so much more important than a piece of decrepit certificate coming from a abysmal board led by an unqualified leader.I was brought up with principles.I don't go around agreeing with others.

Seriously speaking,if not for Ling Wei I wouldn't be bother to carry out my responsibilities.I'm not losing even an inch.Unless I get an explanation,my decision are yet to differ.

Tham was freaking funny today.She thought that I cried because of my marks.C'mon Tham.

I played good tennis today.I managed to scribble the letters 'PB' on the balls and my blows were hard enough to make Mr Choo gasps.

Crocs Rocks!!

A new addition to my Crocs collections.Behold:

By the way,my bags arrived today.Words can't describe how I'm feeling right now.

Bags

Words that best describe the past few days-HELLISH yet AWESOME.Hellish for the fact that I'd successfully screwed up all my papers again and Awesome for the mere fact that I'd slept through almost all the nights.I guess this means that I'm officially insomnia-free.I hope so.

Of late,I'd been having very bizarre dreams.Questioning dreams that aren't scary,which ends up making me chewing my last bit of nails attempting to interpret it.Also,I'd been very demanding lately.You know everyone who know me pretty well got to agree that I'm not a very obsess person.I deal with things pretty well.For instant, I really want another pair of flip-flops from Crocs however I got over it after some time.Still I want it though.Anyway I got really provoked and annoyed last weekend and I decided that burning some cash would be the best medicine to ease my mood.I indulge on a mini shopping spree and ended up getting a T-shirt from MANGO.

My cousin sister was kind enough to fly me some branded bags all the way from London.Behold:

I can't wait.

What the Heck!!!

Guess what.Maths and Science back to Bahasa kononya mother tongue.Anyhow I was not really astonished but would like to grab this opportunity to extend my outmost sympathy to the future generation.Malaysia will have their next generation going to space speaking "Apa khabar??Lu cakap apa.Yakah ,apa itu sphere." How pathetic.

150th Post & Turning 15

Hello readers',I'm officially back(i hope so).Yeah, it's been almost a solid month since I last blogged.For your record this is my 150th post and someone special is turning 15.Yeah, how things are make to coincide sometimes.

Before indulging fellow readers' to one of my lengthy,dramatic and exaggerating speech,let me update you with the little bits of my life.Exams are due next week.Which means by now,I'll be having short crook finger-bitten nails and sleep deprive. Schools as usual are always dreary.My chat box had expired a long time ago and I didn't bother to renew it.I thought of doing it later.And the AWESOME FOURSOME haven't had fun for an immense period of time.Probably it won't happen anymore.I hope not.

And now the dramatic talk begins,

You know how sometimes when you're in such a foul mood and a person comes experimenting all his wrestling skills in front of you.You know how sometimes you need to act humble when a person so much younger than you is so good at something you do.And worst of all,you know how sometimes a person gets so over-protective to even let you touch his cell phone.

But beneath all the wicked and provoking acts he commits himself to,I never live a day through without thanking God for his existence.He was the reason I pray silently every day.I love him thoroughly and words cannot express how I always wish that we'll stop growing.Because soon it'll come a time,where both of us have no choice but leave one another in order to chase our dreams.I pray and I'll continue praying for him.Because he's my one and only brother.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EONG WEI!!!LOVE YOU TO MAX.

By the way,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA LOO

Articles

I've got about 20 articles to finish before tomorrow.Which means that I have an approximate of two more hours before bedtime.I realize its not very nice sacrificing my precious sleeping time for some EST articles.If not for the teacher who always threatens us with the demerit points,I couldn't be bother to get it done.

This entry is suppose to be long.However the writer is too lethargic and the mood of blogging doesn't really kicks in today.She'll be updating her site as soon as possible.Stay tune.

Hey

School commences tomorrow.And that seriously means its consequences time.I'd been lacking far behind this year academically and socially. You know what I mean,huh.Nothing much about my two weeks holidays and therefore not very enthusiastic to share with fellow readers.I'm not stingy ok.Without me realizing two weeks came to an end just like this- whosh!!I didn't even get the chance to really relax without worrying my results that are yet to be revealed.

I failed badly and I'm not in good shape to handle any of this right now.I dread school tomorrow.I dread results and I plant a hatred towards schooling life.It's hectic.Anyway I would be totally lying if I said there was no fun in my holidays.Big fat liar!!

Yeah!!!The main one was getting the AWESOME FOURSOME back in action.We met up last Friday for steamboat in a restaurant;-obviously.This time around with the economic turmoil hitting our country-we were deeply affected too.No posh restaurant this time.Just a small,cozy Chinese restaurant with loud Chinese music blaring out from the stereo.I recalled how frustrated Ivy was to be sitting just below the stereo.We chortled loudly to almost everything, oblivious to the surrounding.The ambiance and vicinity was not very good-I agreed,however the place lit up with our laughter roaring frequently.

I was ravenous and excited and beaming happily.In simple words:

I WAS HAPPY!!!

Miracles

Do you believe in miracles at the first place??I don't if you're wondering.Miracles happen all the time,unexpectedly, out of the blue.When miracle occurs only then we'll be with by a pang of realization,guilt and often relief and grateful.But what happens when it doesn't.Miracles are never my stuff.It doesn't strikes me and often I'll just get off facing the circumstances. Nevertheless an incident that I'll relate to you in a short moment had brought me to a path of having faith in miracles and most of all God.

Last Sunday,like any other Sundays ,I struggled to get out of bed.While I was flipping around on the bed,I realized that my brother was out of the bed.So yeah.Here it goes.Yes-I still sleep with my younger brother.So what.Anyway it was something bizarre seeing him out of the bed so early on a Sunday.C'mon something's not right.And then moments later,he came back telling me that he had a slight fever.Slight fever only what.Nothing fantastic.He popped some Panadol and I thought he'll be alright soon.

Fast forward few hours later his fever gone from bad to worst.And worst means fever with very bad shivering and blue nails and palms.My parents brought him to the nearest hospital fearing something bad is going to happen.He was diagnosed with a virus infection and was put under very strong antibiotics.There it goes.The next day he gets worst,no progress.I began to worry.Symptoms worsen:-nausea,vomiting,extreme shivering and extremely high temperature.I see both my parents sponging him.And worst of all I was forbidden from entering his room as its contagious.From the crack of the door,I saw how he shivers,how his palms became bluish to purplish.I was scared at that time.

No words can describe my fears.For God's sake he was my one and only sibling I have.I can never imagine my life without him.I never dare to even imagine.I'm an asthma patient.I understand the truth behind one's suffering.On Monday night,I was at my breaking point.I can't take it anymore.I wanted to spill it all out to someone and decided to call Rhenu.I can't get through her.

And then all of a sudden,it just happens.I remembered a book, a Buddhist prayer book that I last read a fortnight ago.I recalled how noble and powerful the book was.This book contains personal and real life accounts by people who went through it.I held the book gently and with a sacred heart and mind I read it aloud trying to get the contents of the book into my mind.Though I managed to finish 20 pages of that book,it was more than enough.

The next day when I wake up,I half expected to see my brother lying on his bed.But God I can't believe my eyes.He was in front of the computer striding his thin and long fingers on the keyboard.Thank God.In that instance,I know who to believe.Behold:

THE NOBLE MAHAYANA SANGHATA SUTRA DHARMA-PARYAYA

By the way,I'm feeling very strange now.

I'll never stop trying

4 more days and that's it.That's it.There goes the mid-term that I'd completely screwed up.Not trying to feign modest here but this is serious.And I mean it.Chemistry 1 and Sejarah 1 tomorrow.Yeah,I know I should be in the study right now memorizing Pakatan Murni and Gerakan Islah...blah....blah..blah.....Anyway I'm not because if I am I would not be here striding my tabby fingers across the keyboard.

So while I was trying to reach out for some revision books,a thin envelope slipped and fell making its way through the air before landing forlornly on the ground.In the beginning I didn't bother much of its existence and I just resorted to picking it up and stacking it back to the pile of books.But something,something just made me so curious of the contents of the envelope.A red one.As long as I can recall,I don't usually keep envelopes in my room.

Very slowly I unsealed the envelope and all of a sudden I started shaking.

It's not everyday that your friends do something extraordinary for you.And it definitely takes a lot of effort and passion to do this.It's very visible that the exams had done a mess to our relationship and triggered it at an alarming rate.But foursome let me tell you what:-I'll never ever stop trying no matter how hard I'll try to preserve our relationship.Let me assure you that what we had built yesterday is so strong and rigid that nothing can take it away from us.Absolutely nothing.It's not how much time we spend together but how much we had gone through already.

You'll know what I'm talking about if you had watched 'Sisterhood of the Travelling Pant'.

I'm so prone

This week had been a very intense one.Our mid-year is stretching right up till the end of May.So I sort of like have an E-May(Exam May) this year.Speaking about exams,my sleep was not too bad.I still managed to sleep in for more than 4 hours.Consider good ok.

This exam also I seriously screwed up all the papers that I'd sat for.I screwed it till the very end.Lately I felt like I'd been very careless in my exams which I don't used to.Its alright getting a slash for questions you do not know but its an awful feeling making small mistakes and getting a mark that you don't deserved.So I sort of figured out why I'm so careless lately.I read through some articles and it was stated that a factor of carelessness is PMS.Gosh!!That would be absolutely right!!!PMS!

The one

I'm back!!Yeah!!Haven't been updating for quite some time.The reason is I reckon withdrawing myself from the blogging sphere, can actually help me deal with my emotions:-more to like acting more natural and less feigning.

Moving on.Mid-term exam in a week's time.I'm making every arduous attempt to digest as much as I can and at the same time trying to not to think about my sleep.Recently my class made a trip to Taylor's College.Being in Taylor's actually trigger me to think more about what I'll be doing later on in life.

Many a times,people just tend to make wrong moves in their life or simply made the wrong decision about their future.I wouldn't dare say I'm any better but the thing here is many people think that being a medical doctor is so great, so prestige.Yeah, indeed being a medical doctor is prestige but is social status enough to outcome passion???

The idea of becoming a medical doctor once crossed my life,but man I got over it.When reality comes knocking,I knew that I'm not good enough and will never be good.So why choose something beyond your capabilities??And then I knew that with my capabilities I need to opt for something lower.Which means that I can safely discard medicine and pharmacy out of my deck of cards.And there is where I come across my passion for food.

NUTRITION

I want to be a nutritionist and a dietitian and I'm adamant that I'll make it one day.From that day when I discovered I'd this passion towards vitamins,I've been reading a lot about nutrition since then.From latest discoveries to old facts , I digest it like I'm all ready to start college.With my stern eating habits which varies from no pork to less meat,I guess I'll make a good nutritionist.

Nah, its all just a dream.

By the way,I'm trying to lose weight in an extraordinary way.No starving,no severe exercising.Will be blogging about it soon!!!

Fast one

For now a fast and short one!!

Yeah..Haven't been updating for like ages.Anyway tomorrow's the day:-the day that I'd long anticipated,the day which will prove whether all my efforts are worthwhile,the day where my heart will start beating and pumping hard again,the day where excessive adrenaline will flow throughout my body system,the day where my knees will tremble hard enough.

I'M PLAYING MY SECOND AND LAST MSSD!!!

I'm excited.I'm ravenous.I'm enthusiastic.I'm jittery.I'm nervous.I'm confuse.I can't describe my feelings now.It'll all be clear by tomorrow.I leave it all to God.Wish me luck!!!

Alright!!

Yeah,I know.Alright.Let me explain!!I know I haven't been updating for ages.Maybe for this entry-just an excerpt on what's going on lately.Yeah!!Camp did rock!!!On another note,we're(Mgs'ians) expecting another assessment soon.And frankly speaking,I'm starting from scratch.Yeah,basically that's all I can think about for now.

Moving on,I'm currently undergoing a very crucial state of amnesia.Believe it or not, in a week I misplaced two very important things:-mobile& Tupperware.

I'm really looking forward to April.Lots of exciting and ravenous things are happening.I can't wait for tennis MSSD, Sri Lethia IU Evening and of course the test.The faster it comes,the better it is.I have so much more to say but somehow the words don't seem to be forming in my brain.Words-tied huh???Or whatever you call it.............